Just became the RCVP and Co- Songleader of my temple senior youth group (BESHTY), then, my region (NFTY- STR) dominated the You Know You Went to NFTY When Page, then about 2098978 notifications later and a long discussion with my NFTY friend about if the hunger games was jewish, i decided to name April 3rd NFTY day.
I feel myself sinking into the same depressed feeling that i was in last year when i first started feeling really depressed. It just feels like noone cares and theres not a point to anything anymore. Like my friends all secretly think im an awkward weird child and dont want to be with me.I try to reach out but it always feels like there is retraction. Why do people have to feel this way. Why do people have to make other people feel this way. Wouldnt life be easier if everyone just realized that everyone is beautiful and important in their own way and if acceptance wasn’t a task. I would never wish on anyone what im feeling now for the third time in my life, unaccpetance, denial, sadness. I still have hope though, that one day it will get better for me :)
Just came to the realization that my birthday is on the second seder of passover. No Cake, No baked items from my friends, no typical birthday morning breakfast. Chocolate covered matzah cake? Yes. This is the definition of Jew Problems oh my gosh